Home (2007)

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. When God hands you lemons, it's usually a wake up call. God can work through any bad decision we make and turn it "upwards," but it still doesn't mask the fact that we messed up to begin with.

My move to Kentucky was a hasty decision fueled by a mistake in the making. I have been here for six months, and God has righted my wrong and forgiven me. I have seen amazing things happen, (ie, next level, work, friends that I've made) but I'm still unsettled. I still have goals that cannot be completed because I am the wrong location.

We can never be completely healed of a transgression until we fully give it to God. I believe this with all of my heart. I live by it. God has worked in amazing ways in my life so far, and I am so very thankful for the grace that He has shown me. But I have hit a spiritual plateau, a place in my youth where I feel I can't be as real as I need to be until I give the rest of my bad decision to God.

He has done what he could do with my decision, now it's time for me to surrender, and humble myself willingly to His cause. I have known what I needed to do for a long time, but have wrestled with my family, responsibilities, friends, and obligations--fear of the unknown.

I am moving back in with my parents and sister in Harrisburg, Illinois. I am going back to taking full time classes, and I'm going to find a part time job somewhere. I'm going to meet new people and minister to everyone, not just through words, but through the life I now lead with Christ.

So, please, to all my youth girls and youth leaders at Next Level, and my coworkers at Houchens Industries, don't be sad for me. If anything, please keep me in prayer that I have an impact that's greater than myself. I know something amazing is going to happen as the devil himself has fought this decision since August. Take this time to look into your own lifes and see the different decisions that you may need to right in your walk to find complete fullness.

I love you all, dearly. Though my flesh is sad and nervous about losing friendships I've gained here, my spirit is peaceful and content. I am ready to lay down my job, my car, and my "new shiny happy life" to pick up my cross, and surround myself daily in the full armor.

Please join with me as I pray a hedge of protection over my family and friends during this time, as well as myself. I pray that scales will be lifted from the eyes of those who are concerned. May their concern be that of God's will. May my heart not be cold towards those who don't understand, for that's letting the devil win.

and to this, I say, Amen.