"You can't go through this life being afraid to love, because, without love, there just isn't any reason for living." - Little House on the Prarie
Everything in our life impacts something. In the Christian faith, we have freedom of choice. We don't have to follow God's path for us. But when we defy our heart, we damage something in our core which not only hurts us, but will most certainly have lasting impacts on the people we interact with during those times. It makes things a lot harder than they have to be, which takes healing time to recover from.
In the past I have struggled with a damaged self and body image. I had decided that due to my relationship history that I didn't have much to bring to the table, I wasn't getting any younger and I needed to make myself more available to different types of people. I should broaden my horizons and allow people who were my opposite into my personal life. I had this mindset that I should date anyone I got along well with, no matter if there was attraction beyond friendliness because it would come eventually. In my mind, it was more important that my partner be my friend because that aspect had been neglected so much in the past.
So I controlled my own universe and I hurt a few people deeply in the process. If these past two years have taught me anything it is that you absolutely can't force your heart to make feelings appear. When you try to force romantic love on your heart it never works. It only hurts more people (friends, family, etc.) as time progresses.
We don't get to pick, and I'm very thankful for that. Namely because our mind has a tendency to try and sway us from our heart's own excitement. It will tell you that you can't have your cake and eat it, too. But I can tell you that when it's meant to be, it will be, or you will live in misery trying to fight it.
My biggest struggle when I was involved in an ungodly relationships was feeling that I had to fix all of these things in the other person, when in all reality I needed to let God work on my heart. I always found myself feeling overwhelmed, like I was in over my head in these relationships because I was scared to speak up and voice my opinion. I needed that boost in my self confidence so I could see what He sees when looking at my heart. I had a lot of stuff that needed to be worked out. I had a lot of problems with relying on God to keep me safe. I would talk to God with these types of prayers..
"God, I'm not sure I'm ready to go down this road again. I've been hurt so many times in the past."
"Jesus, you know we are just in a rough patch right now, it will get better as soon as ------"
"He just likes me so much, this is going to kill him! Can't you make me like him, too?"
"God, can you just fix it? I really don't want to go through another breakup."
"I don't think I could make it without him; he's my friend."
"I don't want to be with him, but I don't want to hurt him, either."
As much as God needed my advice, none of these relationships played out like I prayed for. Rather than trust God with my heart and future, I cowered in fear and remained in unhealthy relationships until something major happened. If I had followed God's will things would have gone much smoother.
In all reality, ladies, why would we want to pick every detail of our perfect romance? It may sound fun to be in complete control of your destiny, but where is the excitement? The thrill in anything comes from spiritual unity, overcoming obstacles together. Once you start doing those things together, living life becomes much more interesting. Seeing and encouraging your partner to chase after God's own heart before your own is the best way to experience that fairy tale ending. Which happens to be the theme of this blog :)
So, in other words, don't let society's ideas of cheap romance and free love get you down. Give your fear of never finding that special someone to God and let Him show you how it's done. Dream as big as the stars, fall among the clouds. Pray hard and enjoy the simplicity of life and love with all you've got because there's no guarantee for tomorrow. Live out God's love story for you, trust that He'll make it happen. I promise you won't regret it.
My encouragement for today:
Keep alert. Be firm in your faith. Stay brave and strong. Show love in everything you do. (1 Corinthians 16:13, 14 CEV)
My friends, be glad, even if you have a lot of trouble. You know that you learn to endure by having your faith tested. But you must learn to endure everything, so that you will be completely mature and not lacking in anything. If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous and won’t correct you for asking. (James 1:2-5 CEV)